There…I fixed it.

I read about the latest Special 301 Report issued by the Office of the United States Trade Representative. Briefly, the report puts Canada on the Priority Watch List, alongside other countries like China and Russia. The priority watch list is for the worst of the worst copyright offenders. But despite this report being issued by a government body, you can bet it’s merely a bullying tactic and the U.S. entertainment industry is behind it. Analysis comparing reality to their claims will show as much.

But they’re missing a blatantly obvious solution to the problem. I wrote to the Office of the United States Trade Representative in hopes that he’ll pass my idea along to the entertainment industry in his country:

Mr. Kirk, United States Trade Representative,

I read with interest that Canada has again made the Special 301 Report watch list as one of the worst of the worst offenders. I’m not entirely surprised given the process involved in generating the report and what information is considered … and what information is not.

You may be making this far more complicated than it needs to be, however. I sympathize with how governmental rules and procedures sometimes makes it difficult to see the forest with all those pesky trees in the way. With this in mind, I come to you with a suggestion.

If Canada is so bad, and piracy so rampant, it sounds as if the U.S entertainment industry isn’t making enough money here to bother with Canada at all. My thought is that you might suggest to the entertainment industry in your country that perhaps the easiest, simplest, and best solution would be to stop trying to sell their wares in Canada. Stop the CDs, movies, TV shows, books … all of it.

If it’s so bad for them, why keep trying when it’s such a headache? Their huge problem would instantly evaporate and everyone would be happy. And don’t worry about us. Although the withdrawal symptoms will be intense, they will fade. We will somehow manage to do without Friends repeats and that dreamy Adam Lambert. Somehow.

Your friend from up north,

Rick.

See? Easy-peasy!

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One Comment

  1. Ryan
    Posted May 4, 2010 at 8:14 pm | Permalink

    Nicely done, Rick. Timely too, as I just got a naughty-naughty e-mail from Rogers re: downloading a 20-minute episode of South Park. The show already aired, and can be watched on the Comedy Central web site for free, but this was worth some company in California tracking the torrent and threatening Rogers/me/thousands of other people.

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