Don’t cheat the Empress!

I’m almost finished reading Robert B. Abrams’ The Colosseum: A History, which is a pretty good book, especially since I managed to purchase the Kindle edition for $1.99. In it I came upon this gem of a story that I had never heard before:

The third-century emperor Gallienus, upon learning that a jeweler had sold the empress counterfeit jewels, punished the man by ordering him thrown to the lions. The terrified charlatan was led into the arena, where a cage was wheeled up next to him. But when the cage door was opened, a capon strutted out. The crowd roared with laughter. The emperor’s herald proclaimed that the trickster had been tricked. Then the benevolent Gallienus let him go.

That jeweler got off easy. Cheating people is bad enough, but who cheats the emperor’s wife? Not smart.

Inauguration, or …

The writers at the Scottish Sunday Herald wrote up their television listings with a gigantic dollop of awesome sauce. This is their description of Trump’s inauguration:

After George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) wrote on twitter, “The Sunday Herald TV Section wins today,” LisaD (@BlackDogsRule) insightfully replied, “With all due respect to The Twilight Zone, this is basically an episode of Black Mirror.” So true, Lisa, so true.

The Bachelor

I often watch television with my mom. We have ridiculously different taste in television programming but it’s her TV so the programming is her choice. One of her favourite shows is The Bachelor. It would be the last show I’d choose, but it’s mom’s choice!

That’s not to say it’s completely without redeeming value, however. I enjoy when people try to be what they’re not, because they think they’ll impress someone. With that in mind, this is a quote by a woman who did not make the cut:

I wanna talk smart things!

Olivia Caridi
The Bachelor, season 20 (Ben Higgins)