Third Alien Shore

In a struggle to be happy and free

Drystone Wall

Category: funny Page 1 of 16

Looking back…

What is the worst slang that became universally accepted in the 2010s?
"adulting" by a fucking mile

Hear Hear!

Don’t cheat the Empress!

I’m almost finished reading Robert B. Abrams’ The Colosseum: A History, which is a pretty good book, especially since I managed to purchase the Kindle edition for $1.99. In it I came upon this gem of a story that I had never heard before:

The third-century emperor Gallienus, upon learning that a jeweler had sold the empress counterfeit jewels, punished the man by ordering him thrown to the lions. The terrified charlatan was led into the arena, where a cage was wheeled up next to him. But when the cage door was opened, a capon strutted out. The crowd roared with laughter. The emperor’s herald proclaimed that the trickster had been tricked. Then the benevolent Gallienus let him go.

That jeweler got off easy. Cheating people is bad enough, but who cheats the emperor’s wife? Not smart.

Are you there, GLaDOS?

After picking up a few things at the drugstore, I returned to my car to see this vehicle parked beside me:

If you’ve ever played Portal or Portal 2, you’ll know how amused I was.

The music carries me away

So there I am. I’ve never listened to this CD I have. Claire-Marie Le Guay plays, among other things, Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 4 in B‑flat major, K.570. The Allegro starts, and even though I’m at my desk, I close my eyes and just listen. The playing is so gentle and measured. So incredibly lovely. I don’t even hear my mother come downstairs.

At least until starts unloading the dryer and she starts talking to herself about losing a sock. “Where could it be?” She has no idea. “Surely a sock can’t just vanish into thin air,” and so on. 

Talk about being pulled forcefully back to earth. But a short moment away is better than no moment.

Inauguration, or …

The writers at the Scottish Sunday Herald wrote up their television listings with a gigantic dollop of awesome sauce. This is their description of Trump’s inauguration:

After George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) wrote on twitter, “The Sunday Herald TV Section wins today,” LisaD (@BlackDogsRule) insightfully replied, “With all due respect to The Twilight Zone, this is basically an episode of Black Mirror.” So true, Lisa, so true.

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