According to The Mercury News, stories still do have happy endings, even when they involve a teenage boy robbing an 84-year-old man.

Once upon a time, it was 2:00 p.m. in Santa Rosa, California. An elderly man was walking home with a bag of groceries in each arm. A boy in his mid-teens with a large knife approached the man and said, “Old man, give me your wallet or I’ll cut you.”

The man informed the boy that he was a former Marine who had served in three wars and had seen plenty of knives and bayonets. Putting the grocery bags down, he told the boy that he’d be sorry if he got any closer.

The boy got closer. The man kicked the boy in the groin, incapacitating him. The man picked up his groceries and walked home, leaving the boy curled up on the sidewalk.

And they lived happily ever after, except the boy.

The end.

A tip of the hat to Kevin at The Smallest Minority.