In a struggle to be happy and free

Drystone Wall

New khaki capris

I visited Kendra the other night and she was wearing what I thought were a new pair of capris. I said, “Kendra, are those new pants?” “They are, actually,” was her reply. I’m not totally familiar with her wardrobe so the question wasn’t rhetorical, or merely a way broach the topic so I could say they really suit her (which they do).

I thought of this while writing to Kym earlier today because I’ve been told men do not typically notice these things. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why. I worked with a woman once who told me her own husband seldom noticed when she had her hair cut, even when the change was significant. This is may not be the best example because they were divorced a year later, but I stand by my point.

It all boils down to one thing. I like women. As you know, women are fundamentally different than men. I find the physical differences of particular interest. Clothing covers, and often accentuates, those differences so how can one not notice it? Hair is different in that it’s not an obstruction, but the way women do their hair is usually different than men’s styles. By virtue of this difference, it’s interesting. So you like women and look at them all the time. How can you not notice the new clothing covering the women you see (and therefore look at) often?

Many men act as if looking though women’s magazines somehow threatens their masculinity. While I do not buy this type of magazine myself, I’ll certainly look through them should the opportunity present itself. The answer is simple: they’re full of women. How does looking at women threaten a man’s masculinity? The articles are usually ridiculous, and I would never take them to represent what women really think, but I take perverse pleasure in reading the articles that claim to reveal what men think. Those are ridiculously entertaining, though not in the way intended.

Actually, I don’t think men really believe looking at women’s magazines threatens their masculinity. My suspicion is many men believe that other men think this way. Granted one can take anything to the extreme, but as long as you don’t have subscriptions to a half-dozen women’s magazines for the beauty advice, I really don’t see a problem. All I see are the ladies.

Even worse are lingerie stores. If there’s one store in the mall with a group of men milling about outside, it’s the lingerie store. You’d think there was an anti-man forecefield in the doorway. Why are so many men afraid of this establishment? It’s jam-packed with women buying underwear, often quite naughty. Whether I’m speaking of the women or the underwear is for you to decide. Do men believe that going into a lingerie store means they’re interested in wearing the lingerie themselves? How did this mass delusion start?

It is true that I wouldn’t go into a lingerie store alone if I were not buying something for my (currently non-existent) special lady-friend. Browsing in a lingerie store with no intention to buy would be weird. The only attraction of women’s underwear I have is the part about a woman being inside them. If I were in the mall with my special lady-friend however, the only way she could convince me to mill about with the other men while she went into the lingerie store would be to tell me she was buying something she didn’t want me to see… until later. Frankly, I would hope this is the only reason she would want to convince me to stay outside.


No words


My knapsack on my back


  1. Shawn

    Funny, I get the same reaction when I comment on new clothes or haircuts. I am observant, give me a break. And a compliment makes people happy, so why is it is so wrong. I too love ladies and love to look a them, compliment them and yes reap the rewards. Rick, we are not weird, we are smart !

  2. sethra

    You guys are smart, and trust me that the women in your lives appreciate it!

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