Oh the spam

In my last post, I mentioned that I was cranky. It’s true. I confronted more evidence of it today. Believe it or not, spam is pissing me off. Normally I just ignore it, but in a mood like this, I get annoyed at it.

The comment spam filter caught this beauty:

Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is not that great, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Frankly, I don’t care about search engine optimization. And the suggestions given are ridiculous. Seriously, the text should have a 5% keyword density? One of every twenty words needs to be a keyword? Suggestion, I laugh at thee. If I were forced to use one keyword in every twenty words, it would surely be blow me. Oh, that’s two words. I should need it only every forty words, then!

And yes, I did not include the site name and URL … but rather a sequence of furious capital ‘X’ characters.

Upon reading just the first line, the response that popped into my head was,

Hello comment writer, I noticed that you need to go fuck yourself.

Like I said … cranky.

2 thoughts to “Oh the spam”

  1. Hello, I’m Max from maximaximal.com/blog, and I’m a german blogger.

    The comments you writed about have found a way to my german blog to, and they were written in english! I have no clue, who is writing those fucking annoying posts on many blogs.

    I had 2 of them in one week…

    Today I writed a (angry) mail to the “Autor” (If the mail adress exists ….) and I’m waiting for response (if response ever will come 😉 )

    And so on, thank you for your post, and i’m sorry for my bad english, im 14 and a german blogger 🙂

    1. Hello Max! I certainly share your anger at these spammers, but I do not think you will get an answer. I’ve received literally dozens of that same spam message…and they’re all from different addresses. If the addresses are even valid, they probably were used by the spammers and the actual e-mail address owner doesn’t know about it. I once replied to a message and the person was in that exact situation!

      Happily, the anti spam systems on most blogs catch most of the messages before we’re notified.

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