I don’t like being bullshitted. Not one bit.

I received a letter, delivered to my apartment door. It was a request from the superintendent for some information. Stuff like my home and work telephone number, the names of all the apartment inhabitants, my parking spot number, and similar things. Information they already have … every bit of it. I received this request earlier this month and did precisely nothing about it, given the entirely redundant nature of the exercise.

The other day I received a follow-up letter, with the same information request, and an extra page that explained this was my last chance to update this information. I’m amused because the extra page is set in 24 point bold text. I suppose I should be glad it wasn’t entirely upper-case! My first thought upon seeing this page was,” ‘Last chance’? What are they going to do to me, exactly?”

The last paragraph answered my question, and still provides me no end of amusement:

Starting January 1, 2012 we are going to start ticketing and towing cars that are not registered.

First, I don’t know what this registration is, because it’s not mentioned anywhere else, but I suppose that my providing them the information they request, I’m somehow registered. I question the mechanism behind this curious registration because they asked no details about my car. If there is a car in the spot number I provide, how will they know it’s mine? Second, and most amusing to me, is that one does not simply choose a parking spot that one likes. No, the management issues the parking spots to tenants, and in the building office, they’ve got a big map of the parking lot with the spot numbers and the apartment numbers of the tenants in the spots they’ve been assigned. They already damned-well know the tenant to which each spot is assigned. So are they really going to ticket or tow cars if they don’t get a response to their oh-so-scary threat? Seriously?

The thought of not responding and having them pay the towing fees amused me, but it would not be worth the trouble. They surely have no grounds to tow a car from a spot they assigned, especially since tenants give the vehicle make, model, and licence plate number of their cars so the management can make sure that it’s the owner’s car occupying the spot.

When next year’s anonymous tenant questionnaire comes around, perhaps I’ll take the time to complete it. I never have before, but this idiocy may warrant mention.