An article titled “Osama Bin Laden is Dyed and Alive” printed in The Times of India displays this AP photo of Bin Laden in his latest video alongside a photo of him from his last video. Not only does he look like he’s just ending a week-long bender, but he’s dyed his beard black. Poor guy. He must be having trouble with the ladies again.

Osama: Hiya sweet thing. My name’s Osama.

Pretty girl: The Osama? Osama Bin Laden?

Osama: The one and only. How about you come see my stamp collection?

Pretty Girl: No, I don’t think so.

Osama: Why not? Do you see any other guys here who have smashed the infidel heart of the United States?

Pretty Girl: No, but that was six years ago. All you’ve done lately is hide in a cave with your stinky camels. Take a bath already.

Then came the Grecian Formula.

Osama Bin Laden image courtesy of The Associated Press.