I received a call today from Bell. They were pushing their three-in-one bundle of home-phone, satellite TV, and Internet. Once I could get a word in edgewise, I told the guy I wasn’t interested. At that point he hung up on me. That’s Bell, keeping it classy.

So I called the Bell customer service number to tell them to stop their telemarketing calls. Four levels deep into their telephone system maze, I had to listen to a promo for Clara Hughes’s ride across Canada. It’s a great cause, but when I’m trapped in your phone system, it would be wise that you not throw your good deeds into my face and waste my time, okay Bell? I might get the crazy idea that you really don’t give a crap about the cause and are merely using it to make money.

I finally got through to a real live person, and she was so singsongy, I’m still not convinced she was a real person. I asked that they no longer have their telemarketers call my number. She asked if I meant that I wanted their telemarketers to stop calling, or all telemarketers to stop calling. Seeing the trap, I quickly explained clearly that I didn’t want them calling me, because she otherwise would have shuffled me off to the do-not-call list, and Bell would have kept calling me. All told, she apologized and promised three times that Bell’s telemarketers wouldn’t call me any more. I was tempted to ask for how long, but I didn’t. Nor did I explain that their telemarketers were acting in a way that does Bell no favours.

Is it really so difficult to understand, Bell? Simply don’t bug me and don’t act like an asshole when you contact me. If you follow these simple rules, you won’t have to apologize. Make no mistake, pissing me off and then apologizing doesn’t make it all better.

Oh, check out this pearl from the “just because you say it, doesn’t make it true” department of the Bell web site:

How does Bell commit to their customers?


Yes, delight. Simply put, that’s our mission: To delight you with the products, services and customer support that we provide to you every day.

Talk about clueless. I’m sure they have all sorts of high-cost consultants, but they still don’t have anything resembling a damned clue. Delight is the farthest thing from my mind when dealing with these jokers.